Five Things You Might Not Know About Me…

Recently, my new friend Allison began a journey through her blog of sharing her heart and inviting those who read to follow along on her journey as the wife of a Christian music artist and more importantly, her life of surrender to Jesus.  It’s been a fun way to get to know her!  Yesterday, Allison shared five things readers might not know about her and invited us to reciprocate with an email to her. I did just that without giving it a second thought.  I blurted out the top five things that came to my mind and it was invigorating!

This spontaneity got me to thinking…it might not be such a bad idea to begin to slowly but surely easing my way into transparency with those who read my blog.  After all, we’re becoming friends, right? 

And so, here are the five things I shared with Allison – five things you might not know about me.  

1. I gave my life to Jesus when I was five years old at Los Gatos Christian Church. My Papa baptized me at the evening service. I remember looking up at him and saying, “I sure do” when he asked if I’d taken the Lord to be my Savior.  The smile on his handsome face is forever etched in my mind’s eye.  What a treat!

2. I struggle with anxiety daily.   I hate it, but its real.  I fight the heart fluttering feeling when I wake up by asking my sweet husband to pray and cry out to Jesus with me.  (That’s a beautiful treat because for 7 years I simply cried out to Jesus by myself.)

3. I’m passionate about being a mom who follows after Gods will for my kids. I’ve prayed almost every single day that they would “follow Jesus all the days of their lives”.  Sometimes its with tears, my hands raised or simply in a whisper. No matter the way, I plead with the Lord to pursue their hearts and that they would pursue His will for their lives.

4. I grew up listening to Amy Grant’s, “My Fathers Eyes” cassette tape. Over and over, I’d rewind and sing like I thought I was Amy herself. “I MAY NOT BE EVERY MOTHER’S DREAM FOR HER LITTLE GIRL …..” Stop. Rewind. Play. Stop. Rewind. Play.

5. I dream of someday sharing my story to hurting (and happy) women. I don’t know why I can’t shake this dream, but I see myself standing before thousands of people and pleading with stubborn, aching hearts to fall on their knees and meet Jesus for themselves.  He saved me.  Plain and simple – my story is etched with heartache and pain and redemption like only Jesus can bring.

Now, will you do what I did and share five things that I may not know about you?  I’d love to share our stories!  You can comment below or keep it between us and email me cyndi.guidry@yahoo.com

sharing my life with you – socialcyndi

I Can’t Do It Anymore, I Give Up…

My friend, Allison Vesterfelt is a gifted writer.   At least a couple times a week, I’ll wake up to an email in my Yahoo inbox with Ally’s name on it and regardless of whether I’m running late, I’ll open it and read.  Ninety-nine percent of the time, I’ll have a fresh, new perspective or outlook thanks to this woman!   Today’s issue was so ridiculously fitting for my life and the space in which I’m growing, I asked her for permission to share it.  She graciously agreed.  

Confessions of A Tired Victim

I have a confession to make: I’m tired.

This isn’t new. I’ve been tired for awhile now. It’s just that, in the past twelve months or so, I’ve started to see how the reason I’m tired is I’m fighting a battle that’s impossible to win. I don’t think I was ever intended to fight it in the first place.

I’m giving up.

But it’s not what you think.

 I wish I could have richer relationships, but people are just so broken…

I wish I could have a more fulfilling career, but I have to pay the bills…

I wish I could have more freedom in my life, but I have responsibilities…

I wish I could be more mature, but growth takes time…

To continuing reading the rest of Allison’s post, click HERE….

happy to not be the victim – socialcyndi

A shift in our Legacy…

There’s something about sitting down with your teenage kids and having them pour out their hearts.    

As a young Mom, I envisioned hearing the joy, sadness, fears, hopes and dreams of my kids – all of their emotions and ideas each unique to their drastically different personalities.  It’s now a reality in our family.  We talk high school, friendship, college, future spouses, career tracks.  We discuss the role that the Lord plays in each of our lives and where He’s brought us.  We openly discuss sex, drinking, drugs and building reputations founded on  the integrity and the character of Christ.

Recently, a Mom of teenagers said to me,  “I’m not going to tell my kids where I messed up, they’ll learn for themselves.  If they knew what I did, they would use it as a free pass to screw up.”  My heart  sank.

In the midst of our incredible family discussions, our kids have been asking Alex and I a lot of questions – TOUGH ONES – and seeking our perspectives on certain areas of life.  You know what we found?  Neither one of us liked answering some of the questions – but we NEEDED to.   The insight and answers I gave weren’t necessarily what I wanted to say.  I wanted to  have “good girl” responses - I didn’t have them to give.  I wanted to say I hadn’t tried this or done that – no chance, I did try this and do that.  I wanted to say that in the face of sexual temptation I turned and ran – that would be a lie.  Alex found himself telling his boys the consequences of his past and the vacancy it left in his heart.  He urged his daughter to find refuge in his  love and affection for her rather than searching for it from other guys.  Tough stuff – but good stuff.

Often, I’ll say to the kids: Rather than throw you into adulthood with no vantage point of the future; Dad and I are going to lift you up, share our life experiences (good or bad) and offer you a new perspective.  Imagine yourselves standing on our shoulders far above us – see the potential roadblocks and traps?  Gain insight from our mistakes.  Allow us to  help you navigate through the curves a little bit wiser and a lot more aware of what’s out there.

I’m certain it’s because of these discussions, that our  kids have recently revealed to us that they want to create a shift in our legacy.  Rather than be parents who have to painfully admit their sometimes shame-filled past transgressions to their kids, they desire to be parents who decided they will heed the warnings presented to them.  They want to do things differently than we’ve done them.  They get up early and spend a few minutes reading their Bibles/devotionals pursuing Jesus.  They each desire to remain sexually pure and spend their lives with that ONE special someone.  They strive for academic excellence and want to pave the way for a successful college experience. They want to finish college with limited distractions.  They’re establishing healthy eating habits early on, exercising regularly.  They all desire to refrain from substance abuse….can you see where we messed up?

I’m not naive enough to think that they won’t come across their own pitfalls and struggles, they certainly will.  (Truth is, I  still do!)  It’s how they handle those pitfalls that I’m most concerned about.  Will they recall an honest answer and heed our warnings?  Will they envision the real-life scenarios that I’ve presented where I fell short?  Will they call out to Jesus rather than shove Him aside?  Will they consider the future consequences? They might not.  But what if they did?  Wouldn’t we rather give them the tools to succeed than throw them into this world and hope they don’t fail? 

welcoming a shift in our lives – socialcyndi

What can Jesus do for me?

Reblogged from The Lipstick Gospel:

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My roommate Kacie and I both love to write. We often send each other half finished blogs that need some editing, some direction or just a word of encouragement. Kacie sent this to me last week and I begged her to let me post it. She captured something that I've been feeling for the last several weeks absolutely perfectly. I hope that you find encouragement and freedom in her wisdom.

Read more… 1,095 more words

Blessed me to my core!

Straight to my heart…

My Sonny Boy

Jonathon Michael Guidry is what he refers to himself as.

 He’s the eldest – the leader of the four Sibs.

He’s the protector and has a drive to succeed like no other.

He’s WON when he had every excuse to LOSE.

He won’t short cut when he’s given the opportunity to.

He INSPIRES me daily – his Bible reading habit, his UNAPOLOGETIC love for Christ, his determination to be an honor student, his daily weight training, his commitment to his teams (Family, Football & Track), his tenacity to become an outstanding Law Enforcement Officer ….

Today’s inspiration was different and went straight to my heart.

I received a text from Jon this morning while sitting at my desk.  Instantly, tears began to well up as I read the heart of my boy that is so desperate to please God….and knowing  that without question,  God is pleased.  I began to think;  this is MY son - on loan to raise in the way he should go.  This is the boy I have covered in prayer since I carried him within me.  I used to cry out for this child (and still do), “Oh Lord, that he would follow you all the days of his life.”

There I was, being blessed with a glimpse that Jon is following….and he’s listening too.

The simplicity of his text message was striking and it read: “I feel the sun pouring on me from the heavens and I feel the Lord looking down knowing that I want nothing but Him in my heart.  And it feels good knowing that I have no desire for sin in my life”  

Oh to feel what he must have felt at that moment !!  The warmth of the sun, the peace in his heart…

And all at once, it hit me… He is living like he’s counseled to live.

Am I?

Am I filling my heart with something other than the Lord?  Without question!  Shopping, furniture, household items, painting, redecorating, yard upgrade, HOUSE upgrade, a new car, shedding 20 lbs, ridding myself of caustic people, fear, anxiety over 150 questions on State exam, vanity, doubt, resentment, frustration – to name only a few.  Those thoughts seem to FILL my mind and sometimes take over in the midst of my relationship with God, my husband, juggling four kids schedules, keeping a home and managing my office.

Do I have a desire to sin that I need to resist?  You bet I do!  I struggle with sin HOURLY – petty little sinful selfish desires HAUNT my mind far too often – ME ME ME ME ME!

Today,  I needed Jon’s gracious, transparent reminder that I need to be reeled in…… and get my focus realigned.

And so I say my boy who is quickly becoming a man, “Thank you Sonny Boy,  for inspiring the depths of my heart to live RIGHT.  You’re sowing seeds of greatness and I’m so thankful God’s allowing me to witness and be DIRECTLY impacted by them.  I love you”

forever a work in progress – socialcyndi

P.S.  (I asked Jon for his permission to share his text with you – he graciously replied, “oh ya Mama – if God’s moving, let’s share it”)

Setting the record straight…

I love reality TV shows. I used to try to say otherwise, but the truth is – I like them. I can pick a participant apart with the best of them. I wouldn’t say I physically critique them or pick their looks apart –  it’s more of a personality critique like, “She’s annoying, a whiner, irritating, manipulative, back-stabbing”…I tend to be very blunt with my criticism. I’m also callous and mean. Yes, I’m a “mean girl” and it wasn’t until I sat down to talk with my Savior this morning, that I fully had to admit it.

While reading through Proverbs 9 and finding bits of wisdom to journal and chat with the Lord about, I was struck and was prompted to post a scripture from yesterday’s quiet time on my Facebook. “Odd?”, I thought. “Why in the world do I need to do that?” I audibly asked myself.   And for the next 10 minutes, I wrestled with the scripture I KNEW I was being led to post. It should be such a simple thing to do…just type out the words and update my Facebook status. But, the more I read the words within the scripture, the more I was struck deep within my heart that they were a complete contradiction to the rant I had posted about a reality show participant just THE NIGHT BEFORE. How in the world could a verse that I KNEW God had laid on my heart, follow such trash talk? And what is that saying about the inconsistency of my character and the woman that I am?

This took me  deeper into thought….and I found myself actually petitioning the Lord to “understand” that I really didn’t want to post something that could possibly “offend” people or cause them to stand in judgement against me. It was at that very moment in thought, it became as clear what God was doing.  I was left with two distinct realizations:
1. I am not ashamed of the relationship I have with God – I don’t push Him on people – I share Him with anyone I can.
2. I’m sending mixed messages through my words within social media about the integrity of my character – and I need to fix that.
I knew immediately I needed to set the record straight.

It was clear that God was asking me to put myself out there and be bold  - I needed to recognize and see the faults within myself.  For a moment, I contemplated choosing to fly below the radar and stay quiet. I KNOW that I was being led to be bold and see how far I would go for my Savior when He asks me (even if it was just a silly Facebook post).   It was a humbling question I knew I needed to ask myself…”Why is it so simple to spout off and boast my opinions about a reality TV show participant but find myself cowering when it comes to sharing Scripture that could potentially offend someone? I knew the answer and I needed to face it head on.

There’s no question about it – this girl on TV annoyed me – but that doesn’t make her any less a child of God. Sure, she’s sobbing on a TV show…that doesn’t mean that God loves her any differently than He loves me. In fact, according to the Bible, I’m called to share the love of Christ with people just like her – yet there I was, being mean & gossiping openly about my dislike for her!

I’m here to set the record straight…not to say I’m anything spectacular for “outing” myself – quite the contrary in fact. I’m a girl who stumbled and fell flat on my face with humility this morning and I needed to seek the forgiveness first from my Lord and also from those whom I’ve demonstrated this inconsistency to. I’m a work in progress – and I’m working overtime to walk through a character refining process with grace and integrity. Last night, I bombed big time – today, I’m assured that through the saving Grace of Jesus – I’m forgiven.

‎”….blessed are those who keep my ways. Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the LORD. But whoever fails to find me harms himself; all which hate me love death.” – Proverbs 8:32-36

A constant work in progress -
socialcyndi

Spring forward….

Keeping the past in the past is something I deal with on a daily basis. Oh sure I can be “over” something and fully believe I’m “over” it…but in a split second – a scent, a word, a song, a phrase, even a ringtone throws me into a scene from the past I swore I wasn’t heading back to – and yet, I’m there. And I’m CERTAIN I’m not the only one…..

It’s almost comical that I’ve been sooooo focused on keeping the past in the past – I’m beginning to see that isn’t such a great idea. Here’s why; I believe that every single detail of our lives (yours and mine) were planned before our Moms Dads knew we were on the way! Our PAST, our PRESENT and our FUTURE moments!

Here’s what I mean…..When I was born and named, God had plans that were specific for me. When I entered elementary school, I was being shaped and molded into the person I was becoming. As I walked the halls of Dartmouth Middle school, I was being transformed into the person who would begin to make her own life altering choices. Stepping foot onto the campus of Branham High school, I made decisions that were monumental in the formation of who I am and what I’m becoming….my testimony – the story of my life was taking shape.

Professions, decisions, marriage, having twins, re-dedicating my life to following Jesus, becoming a better wife, getting involved in church ministry, dedication to being the BEST Mom I can possibly be, choosing friends, more decisions, making memories, overcoming GIANT obstacles, facing past hurts and shame, having a daughter, growing closer still to God, being a Godly example to my kids, moving to Nebraska on 240 acres of cattle land with 3.5 kids and a dog in the middle of nowhere, the birth of my son, the death of my Dad, moving “home” to Oregon, immersed in being a wife & Mom, more decisions, success in business, continued reliance on God, a divorce, heartache, defeat, losing friends, self-indulgence, new-found appreciation in my Mom, loss, stepping away from pride, unconditional love, grieving, encouraging my kids, more decisions, new friends, finding who I am again, surrender, celebrating my children’s successes, overcoming obstacles, being on my own, the death of my Papa, more surrender, on my knees asking for guidance, COMPLETE surrender, blessings abound, forgiving myself, a new beginning, true love, dreams becoming reality, hope restored, fresh starts,….ALL OF THAT is in the past….which leads me to the present….which forms my future!

I share that with you because it’s opened my eyes to see that without our pasts, we wouldn’t be the people we are today!! I can’t dwell on the areas that I’ve failed – I need to use those as reminders. I can’t re-live old success – I can appreciate the accomplishment. I’m just going to count it ALL JOY that we can SPRING FORWARD through each moment of our lives – the PAST, the PRESENT and the FUTURE….

On the journey with you -
@socialcyndi