I love Facebook – this is no surprise to anyone who knows me. I also, love food – this too, is no surprise to anyone who knows me. That being said, I’m not a fan of giving up either one of those. Over the past couple of weeks, my heart has been stirred that those two things are far too high on my priority list….and if you know me, then you’ll know when my heart is stirred, its my call to action.
When I was just weeks away from turning 30 (that’s almost 8 years ago…ugh), I recall feeling a similar stir. I was 243 pounds and completely unhappy with myself inside and out. I was glutinous, unhealthy and my self-image was living in the sewer. I knew that I needed to make a serious life change and began listening more to what God was saying and talking less about how awful I felt. I was introduced to something that dramatically changed my life…the art of discipline, learning about food, focusing on intake, and tracking what I’m actually putting into my mouth….I REFUSED to deviate from what I was asked to do – I was focused as though I was a contestant on the Biggest Loser – and I WON! Over the course of a year, I had dropped almost 100 pounds, and I felt fantastic on the inside and liked what I saw on the outside. My heart was stirred, and I showed up to work!
Today, I’ve put back on 50 of those pounds….and I’ve also adopted a social habit (addiction works too) that takes FAR TOO MUCH of my precious time. In the safe world I once lived in that I closed everyone out of – I would NEVER admit to either of those weaknesses. But, I gave up that life and have chosen that regardless of the judgement passed, criticism or the skeptical folks who toss doubt, I’m all in. God’s stirred my heart…I must react.
I really enjoy the comfort of keeping my weakness to myself – it’s a nice buffer that allows me to fail in silence…..after all, if I don’t tell anyone then no one will know, right? Maybe, just maybe, my “fanatical” action of saying goodbye to Facebook for a while and working my rear-end off to track every bite I eat while maintaining my daily routine at the gym will be that stirring that God asked me to record here, so I could give Him the praise when I succeed!!
From my stirred heart – socialcyndi